You know how it is when someone leaves a little bit of poop in the bidet? it's a rather european dilemma, i know, but bear with me if you will. I apologize if you are reading this first thing in the morning. or any time for that matter. it's just, well, these people are used to using bidets.. they should know better. and this all leads back to their psychological issues with bodily waste. see some poop somewhere? well, pretend you don't, and just leave it there! if we do it for dogs we'll do it for ourselves. this is their thinking. really!
It makes me wonder: do babies have to change themselves here? I mean, i am all for giving kids responsibility in taking care of themselves but changing your own diaper can not be easy. I have a new respect for those little argentine peeps.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Cold bitch (a warning to you for your homecoming)
I really haven't had much to bitch about lately (shocking, i know!)...but the weather here is really bringing me down. Memorial Day was beautiful...but the last 2 days...ugh! Here we are...days away from June...and I had to turn the heat on today! We were in the mid-50s today and it was raining and just nasty!! Ugh!! I get it...it's New England...it's this variety we are known for, blah, blah, blah...but enough is enough!! Don't worry...I'm sending warm thoughts to the weather gods for your homecoming!!
Monday, May 25, 2009
monedas
sorry not to document recent bitches. will update more faithfully.
Monedas...or coins, as we call them, are very short supply here in the BUE. Why is that? No one seems to know, but everyone has a theory. The main one is that the bus company keeps all the millions of coins they get since everyone on god's good earth takes the bus here, and then they sell them by weight at a profit.
Yesterday, my birthday, we found ourselves ready to go out and have a great day, but literlly without a coin between us. No one else was around. We were trapped in the barrio! Annoying. I went out to try and buy cheap stuff I didn't want to get some change back, but stores are actually changing the prices on their items so THEY don't have to give you as many coins back. It's so dumb. the other dumb thing is that they don't have a pass card system for use on the buses. Yes, I am riding around in a flintstone bus. It's the stone age here baby.
Eventually, we begged some off a brother (a real brother) and were on our way. Throughout the day we picked up more and more coins so we could actually get home. what a relief.
Monedas...or coins, as we call them, are very short supply here in the BUE. Why is that? No one seems to know, but everyone has a theory. The main one is that the bus company keeps all the millions of coins they get since everyone on god's good earth takes the bus here, and then they sell them by weight at a profit.
Yesterday, my birthday, we found ourselves ready to go out and have a great day, but literlly without a coin between us. No one else was around. We were trapped in the barrio! Annoying. I went out to try and buy cheap stuff I didn't want to get some change back, but stores are actually changing the prices on their items so THEY don't have to give you as many coins back. It's so dumb. the other dumb thing is that they don't have a pass card system for use on the buses. Yes, I am riding around in a flintstone bus. It's the stone age here baby.
Eventually, we begged some off a brother (a real brother) and were on our way. Throughout the day we picked up more and more coins so we could actually get home. what a relief.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Toilet bitch
warning: this one is really lame.
I do believe I have changed the toilet paper roll more times here in a month than in an entire YEAR in my own home, living with less people. This is not because I never change the roll at home, but because here, NO ONE ever changes it.
I think there is a direct connection with this to the previous post on dog poo. In my amateur medical opinion, it seems these people, this very rare and complex group, actually do NOT want to admit or address the fact that they actually have bowel movements. Therefore, anything related to bodily waste can only be completely ignored. Otherwise, the entire civilization will surely fall.
While I feel for them, I just don't feel bad enough. I really don't care if they all vanish in a poof-or a fart, as the case would be for them, and deservedly so, I must say.
Thank you, and don't forget to flush.
I do believe I have changed the toilet paper roll more times here in a month than in an entire YEAR in my own home, living with less people. This is not because I never change the roll at home, but because here, NO ONE ever changes it.
I think there is a direct connection with this to the previous post on dog poo. In my amateur medical opinion, it seems these people, this very rare and complex group, actually do NOT want to admit or address the fact that they actually have bowel movements. Therefore, anything related to bodily waste can only be completely ignored. Otherwise, the entire civilization will surely fall.
While I feel for them, I just don't feel bad enough. I really don't care if they all vanish in a poof-or a fart, as the case would be for them, and deservedly so, I must say.
Thank you, and don't forget to flush.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
kissing bitch
sometimes, I just don't wanna go around a huge dinner table and personally kiss and greet all 30 people (none of whom I know). It may sound like a really nice cultural tradition, but actually it's just kind of awkward and sometimes they get sick of it too
a little bitch (no pun intended)
i apologize for my lack of bitching...it's not that i haven't been, it's just that i had guests, and so i bitched to them instead. i'm sure they loved it.
actually, this bitch has something to do with their visit.
I hate when i get embarrassed and feel bad for things happening to other people which are not my fault. Like when you have two guests come to visit you in a certain city and they BOTH step in DOG CRAP at some point in the visit because DOG CRAP is EVERYWHERE in BUENOS AIRES. I mean, ALL OVER THE SIDEWALKS EVERYWHERE. Is that clear?
I think it's disgusting and I think it speaks volumes about these people and their mentality. What does it say? They don't care about the place they live, they are lazy, they are insecure, they are self-important, they snobs, they have no sense of civic duty, they don't care about other people or the environment, and they somehow PREFER to be FORCED to LOOK AT DOG CRAP ALL DAY LONG.
I think they are deviant about this and very immature.
I am done.
For now.
oh, actually, I also hate when people call on the phone and clearly there is no one home (besides me, who they are not trying to reach) but they just keep calling anyway....over and over...on and on...
leave a friggin message and move on with your life already
actually, this bitch has something to do with their visit.
I hate when i get embarrassed and feel bad for things happening to other people which are not my fault. Like when you have two guests come to visit you in a certain city and they BOTH step in DOG CRAP at some point in the visit because DOG CRAP is EVERYWHERE in BUENOS AIRES. I mean, ALL OVER THE SIDEWALKS EVERYWHERE. Is that clear?
I think it's disgusting and I think it speaks volumes about these people and their mentality. What does it say? They don't care about the place they live, they are lazy, they are insecure, they are self-important, they snobs, they have no sense of civic duty, they don't care about other people or the environment, and they somehow PREFER to be FORCED to LOOK AT DOG CRAP ALL DAY LONG.
I think they are deviant about this and very immature.
I am done.
For now.
oh, actually, I also hate when people call on the phone and clearly there is no one home (besides me, who they are not trying to reach) but they just keep calling anyway....over and over...on and on...
leave a friggin message and move on with your life already
Thursday, April 16, 2009
When you Have to Bitch about Someone you Like
Not you, by the way.
THIS time, anyway!!! Watch out! You could be next!!
Today I am annoyed with my jewelry teacher whom I really like. Not only is he a really good teacher and jeweler who just seems to know EVerything about jewelry making, metals, etc. etc., he is also very odd and somehow attractive to me in a "it's cool to know someone really out there and different" kind of way.
Anyway, lately he's losing his shit. Relationship trouble (he's 40, she's 20) and generally fried from lots of work and living in a city where just riding the bus really takes it out of you.
So, I am at "crunch time" (kind of hate that expression) for my work. I need to get it DONE, already, and he keeps canceling classes, not coming in to his scheduled open studio time and is now going on vacation.
I mean, I agree, he REALLY needs it. Yesterday he came to school looking as if he hadn't slept in his entire life (there are people out there with that problem, you know....or there were. I think they all died young. no surprise there.). I am just grumpy because things are not working out for ME! Wah wah wah....
Carlos, if someohow you ever read this and could understand it, I still love you and think you're great.
I am a really lame bitch, me thinks. Why can't I just bitch and not apologize dammit!
Bitch number two: Yesterday on the Yahoo homepage there was some news things about doctors finding a tiny pine tree growing in a man's lung. This is just so wrong on so many levels.
First of all, this is not news. This will not happen to anyone else ever and therefore is not pertinent, in my book. It's not an entire country or even a village of people with tree lung. It's is one freakish and extremely unfortunate man.
Secondly, this literally makes me want to throw up. Even now, a day later, I feel like barfing up my dinner and feel an ever so slight constriction in my breathing.
Thirdly, it makes me remeber other gross freakish things like (you know what I'm going to say, right?) when scientists grew a human ear on the back of a mouse. It was grey and furry and the mouse (who was clueless, I hope) seemed so viloated and bizarre.
A pine tree in a lung?
Maybe that's what the man who puked on the bus today was thinking of.
THIS time, anyway!!! Watch out! You could be next!!
Today I am annoyed with my jewelry teacher whom I really like. Not only is he a really good teacher and jeweler who just seems to know EVerything about jewelry making, metals, etc. etc., he is also very odd and somehow attractive to me in a "it's cool to know someone really out there and different" kind of way.
Anyway, lately he's losing his shit. Relationship trouble (he's 40, she's 20) and generally fried from lots of work and living in a city where just riding the bus really takes it out of you.
So, I am at "crunch time" (kind of hate that expression) for my work. I need to get it DONE, already, and he keeps canceling classes, not coming in to his scheduled open studio time and is now going on vacation.
I mean, I agree, he REALLY needs it. Yesterday he came to school looking as if he hadn't slept in his entire life (there are people out there with that problem, you know....or there were. I think they all died young. no surprise there.). I am just grumpy because things are not working out for ME! Wah wah wah....
Carlos, if someohow you ever read this and could understand it, I still love you and think you're great.
I am a really lame bitch, me thinks. Why can't I just bitch and not apologize dammit!
Bitch number two: Yesterday on the Yahoo homepage there was some news things about doctors finding a tiny pine tree growing in a man's lung. This is just so wrong on so many levels.
First of all, this is not news. This will not happen to anyone else ever and therefore is not pertinent, in my book. It's not an entire country or even a village of people with tree lung. It's is one freakish and extremely unfortunate man.
Secondly, this literally makes me want to throw up. Even now, a day later, I feel like barfing up my dinner and feel an ever so slight constriction in my breathing.
Thirdly, it makes me remeber other gross freakish things like (you know what I'm going to say, right?) when scientists grew a human ear on the back of a mouse. It was grey and furry and the mouse (who was clueless, I hope) seemed so viloated and bizarre.
A pine tree in a lung?
Maybe that's what the man who puked on the bus today was thinking of.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Bitches gone bad
I know, I feel the same way! Isn't it nice to know someone isn't going to judge you for being a regular person? I mean no one can be nice and sweet all the time. That's why I want to just gag some times when I read my "other" blog. I mean, it's not that I don't mean what I say, but there are days when it would be dangerous for me to write a new post. All my thousands of readers would wonder what happened to me. Had I been kidnapped and my blog turned over to a pshycotic bitch??? They would worry.
Thanks Mai, miss and love you too!
Now, off to make lentil loaf! I guess then it will be Marcelo's turn to write a post here.. hee hee!!!!!
Thanks Mai, miss and love you too!
Now, off to make lentil loaf! I guess then it will be Marcelo's turn to write a post here.. hee hee!!!!!
Sending some love to E...
Nothing to bitch about today (yet!)...but does it destroy the integrity of this blog if dedicate this post to our friendship? Your last post made me laugh out loud (here's a bitch: it's not lol, people...ugh...drives me crazy!) and I miss you!! There are not too many like-minded souls out there...and I miss hanging out with you and just knowing that you "get it". Okay..don't want to get too sappy... :)
Monday, April 13, 2009
Hmmmm
OK, first off, a question; how is this any different from email?
Secondly, why do you feel like a teenager with your boss? you should feel like her mother from the sounds of it...OK, i get what you mean though feeling like a mortified teenager while your mom/boss pigs out.
Um, how would i deal with that...hmmmm...ummm....ahhhh
gee, i don't know...is she overweight? maybe she has a bad relationship with food. Or maybe she grew up poor with not enough food. Or maybe it's not about the food, but that's it's free...
Are the other people kind of surprised too?
I was thinking of a joke, like addressing the other people with "I guess Mary didn't get a chance to have a breakfast today!" or "I guess Mary agrees with me, this stuff is delicious! I'm sorry I can't express it as well as she can".
Maybe do one of those talking out loud to yourself things, so she can hear, and say "OK, Mai, this time you're going to take is slow...remember last time when you gorged yourself and felt like a stuffed pig? Not this time!!! Mary, help me with this! Be a good example for me!!"
Or you could get all serious and say in a low tone "Mary, I don't want to freak you out, but my cousin once had to get ten stitches in her mouth when she put a knife into it when eating. I use to put knives into my mouth, too, before that happened".
Huh, none of them very viable options, i know.
I think it's just one of those things in life, a (hot) cross (bun) you have to bear. I guess it would make me want to NOT eat, but you are there to test it out.
BTW, hope her name isn't really Mary and I apologize to all Mary's out there who might be offended I used their name to describe someone with this issue. Not that it's a bad thing...
Why am I apologizing? I'm supposed to be bitching!
Must get back to work....caving a tiny bunny. Isn't that sweet?
I really am a gemini....
Secondly, why do you feel like a teenager with your boss? you should feel like her mother from the sounds of it...OK, i get what you mean though feeling like a mortified teenager while your mom/boss pigs out.
Um, how would i deal with that...hmmmm...ummm....ahhhh
gee, i don't know...is she overweight? maybe she has a bad relationship with food. Or maybe she grew up poor with not enough food. Or maybe it's not about the food, but that's it's free...
Are the other people kind of surprised too?
I was thinking of a joke, like addressing the other people with "I guess Mary didn't get a chance to have a breakfast today!" or "I guess Mary agrees with me, this stuff is delicious! I'm sorry I can't express it as well as she can".
Maybe do one of those talking out loud to yourself things, so she can hear, and say "OK, Mai, this time you're going to take is slow...remember last time when you gorged yourself and felt like a stuffed pig? Not this time!!! Mary, help me with this! Be a good example for me!!"
Or you could get all serious and say in a low tone "Mary, I don't want to freak you out, but my cousin once had to get ten stitches in her mouth when she put a knife into it when eating. I use to put knives into my mouth, too, before that happened".
Huh, none of them very viable options, i know.
I think it's just one of those things in life, a (hot) cross (bun) you have to bear. I guess it would make me want to NOT eat, but you are there to test it out.
BTW, hope her name isn't really Mary and I apologize to all Mary's out there who might be offended I used their name to describe someone with this issue. Not that it's a bad thing...
Why am I apologizing? I'm supposed to be bitching!
Must get back to work....caving a tiny bunny. Isn't that sweet?
I really am a gemini....
OK, here's one for Monday...
Don't you hate when you are forced to live with people you don't particularly like, but who are ok? You never really feel totally comfortable.
Especially when their bathroom has no lock on the door and is located in the middle of the main "hub" of the home. And isn't it weird when said people leave the door open a bit (the custom to signify its unoccupied status) but are actually in there? and weirder still when you knock anyway, because it's not totally for sure there is no one in there, and no one answers but they ARE actually in there, you quickly discover.
OK, so the culprit (not marcelo, obviously, because it wouldn't have mattered) was just out of the shower and just buttoning up his pants-or actually it looked like tying a drawstring (hate drawstring pants, on anyone other than children) and was not sitting on the toilet-or bidet, god forbid. but still! what the f**k?
ugh.
more on the bathroom later...i'm sure you're thrilled
remember, you don't HAVE to read this
just pretend, ok?
btw-you look great today!
enjoy the rest of your fabulous Monday!!
Especially when their bathroom has no lock on the door and is located in the middle of the main "hub" of the home. And isn't it weird when said people leave the door open a bit (the custom to signify its unoccupied status) but are actually in there? and weirder still when you knock anyway, because it's not totally for sure there is no one in there, and no one answers but they ARE actually in there, you quickly discover.
OK, so the culprit (not marcelo, obviously, because it wouldn't have mattered) was just out of the shower and just buttoning up his pants-or actually it looked like tying a drawstring (hate drawstring pants, on anyone other than children) and was not sitting on the toilet-or bidet, god forbid. but still! what the f**k?
ugh.
more on the bathroom later...i'm sure you're thrilled
remember, you don't HAVE to read this
just pretend, ok?
btw-you look great today!
enjoy the rest of your fabulous Monday!!
Welcome, Bitch!
I mean that in the nicest way. And I can say that, because I put a mature subject matter notice up...
today's bitch?
hmmm....maybe the fact that i think i have dengue fever? and if i don't, then why do i feel so crappy?
i miss yoga. guess i should do some.
today's bitch?
hmmm....maybe the fact that i think i have dengue fever? and if i don't, then why do i feel so crappy?
i miss yoga. guess i should do some.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Hmmmm...
Hahaha! I love this...i was hoping you would go ahead and start this blog! I think it will balance out your other one nicely! My first bitch...I tried forever to post something and then I lost it...and I'm trying to figure out if it's the site or if it's me...I'm thinking it's me...sooooo...I can't really bitch about myself! Other than that I don't have anything to bitch about today...maybe because it's Easter and I'm trying to be respectful! ;-)
Stay tuned...you may have created a monster!! :)
Stay tuned...you may have created a monster!! :)
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Dear M,
I made you your very own blog. This blog is for me to bitch to you about all the things that drive me crazy here in Argentina, and probably elsewhere as well. You don't have to really read it if you don't want to, although I will always try and remember to say something nice to you.
Today, I have nothing to bitch about.
Well, the day is not over, so maybe later.
I might put gross pictures on here like dog poop all over the sidewalk, but I will "x" out the offensive object. And buses. I hate them. Oops...I'm bitching
Oh well, that's the whole point.
Actually, I just had an idea. You can bitch here too! I'll send you the secret bitch password. Bitching in the comment section just wouldn't be satisfying.
Try to make it funny, wouldja?
I hope you're having a wonderful Easter weekend. I know you don't celebrate easter, so you can bitch about that if you want.....just in case you need any ideas....
I made you your very own blog. This blog is for me to bitch to you about all the things that drive me crazy here in Argentina, and probably elsewhere as well. You don't have to really read it if you don't want to, although I will always try and remember to say something nice to you.
Today, I have nothing to bitch about.
Well, the day is not over, so maybe later.
I might put gross pictures on here like dog poop all over the sidewalk, but I will "x" out the offensive object. And buses. I hate them. Oops...I'm bitching
Oh well, that's the whole point.
Actually, I just had an idea. You can bitch here too! I'll send you the secret bitch password. Bitching in the comment section just wouldn't be satisfying.
Try to make it funny, wouldja?
I hope you're having a wonderful Easter weekend. I know you don't celebrate easter, so you can bitch about that if you want.....just in case you need any ideas....
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